Feeling Out of Control? Living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BDP)

You feel everything — deeply.

One moment, you're full of hope. The next, you're drowning in shame, fear, or anger. You try to hold on to people you love, but sometimes you push them away before they can leave.

BPD isn’t about being dramatic. It’s about surviving in a world that feels unsafe.

What is Borderline Personality Disorder, really?

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is not a character flaw, it's an emotional regulation disorder. People with BPD often experience intense emotions, unstable relationships, and a fragile sense of identity. But at the core, there’s usually a fear:“If they really know me, they’ll leave.”

You might:

• Swing between idealizing and devaluing people

• React strongly to rejection, even imagined

• Feel chronically empty or unsure of who you are

• Engage in impulsive behaviors just to feel something, or to make the pain stop

Where does BPD come from?

BPD doesn’t appear out of nowhere. In therapy, we often trace it back to early emotional injuries. Common roots include:

Childhood neglect or abuseWhen emotional needs were ignored or invalidated, you may have learned to doubt yourself and fear abandonment.“I had to guess what others needed from me, my feelings didn’t matter.”

Unstable caregiving If love came and went unpredictably, emotional intensity might have become your way of staying connected.“When I cried, someone noticed. When I was quiet, I disappeared.”

Early rejection or betrayalYou might have internalized the belief that you’re not worthy of love unless you fight for it.“I learned to keep people close… even if it hurt.”

What does BPD feel like?

Living with BPD often means:

• Feeling like a burden, yet terrified of being alone

• Mood swings that seem to come out of nowhere

• Deep guilt or shame after arguments or emotional outbursts

• A strong desire for connection, followed by fear and withdrawal

You may look “high-functioning” on the outside, but inside, you’re always trying not to fall apart.

How therapy can help:

As a psychologist, I’ve seen that people with BPD don’t need fixing. They need validation, stability, and a space to heal.Through Schema Therapy, EMDR, and integrative trauma work, we can:

• Understand your emotional triggers

• Reprocess memories that shaped your core beliefs

• Develop tools to regulate emotions

• Rebuild your sense of self, from the inside out

Imagine this…

What if your feelings made sense? What if you could trust your relationships, and trust yourself?What if you didn’t have to live in emotional survival mode anymore?

BPD doesn’t define you. You are not “too much”, you are a deeply feeling person who learned to survive. And healing is possible.